Monday, May 21, 2007

Long post.

I have just been so busy with mom and all that has been going on that I really haven't had time to think...much less post.

I haven't thought about trying to have a baby really, having a baby...yes. During all of this I was so afraid that my child will never meet mom. That was the hardest thing to think about. I saw mom ooooing and ahhhing over Illan before and after the surgery, and I can't help but be sad that my baby may never know that love. I don't know why having/adopting a baby keeps getting put off. Right now, I can't start any kind of process of adopting or foster care. Making love is difficult with my parents in the house. So, I guess this is a break...on all fronts. As difficult it is to think about not having a child, I know God wants me to be taking care of my mom right now. I wouldn't want to be or do anything else.

She is the most important woman in my life, she has given so much to me, to family and if I can in any way start to repay her...that is what I want. I love them being here. I love to have her depend on me and knowing she can count on me. She needs me and has always been there for me, so I am finally able to give back.

I love her...period!

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