ooops hit enter before I put the post in haha.
NO not pregnant..blah
Huge H U G E!
noo H O O O O O G E !
Where do I start. ok bad craptastic morning first. This is gonna be a long one so if you don't got the time to sit here and read it all just skip it til later - but it is H O O O O O G E !
Went to the fertility doc. Sat down, first thing he said...I think that treatments will be a waste of your money. There is very little chance that we can get you pregnant. With your history the pregnancy will be extremely high risk but I will do what you want shy of IVF which he said the chances of that working are even worse without donor eggs. BAH! :( He said with the history of a stroke they would have to put me on heparin. My diabetes will be a huge factor along with my high blood pressure. We talked and came to the agreement that we will do three cycle and if no baby...end of road, door shut...finito!
Needless to say I left crying and discouraged. We did schedule a saline study of my uterus for the 16th and see him again the following month. Left pissed and sad and really began to feel like this was it.
I met up with John and Lena and couldn't tell them about the visit while we were out, went to Steinmart (LOVE THIS STORE) and ended up going back to the car pretty quick with Caleb (who HATES to shop) and hung out in the van while they shopped. pout pout, poor me - ok done...with that.
I have to back up to last week. Jami calls me...at first I thought she was pregnant again or something she was so excited. She tells me that BreAnn came home or DeAnn visited her (I can't remember) and that a girl that is in rehab with Bre is pregnant and wants to give the baby up for adoption. I was in a room full of people and couldn't jump up and down...but I was so excited. She told me to call De later that day and I would get more details. I talked to De and she said a lot of the same things Jami said, but that she wanted my number to call me! :o She said the girl had 2 other children (not with her) and that is in rehab for Marijuana.
Jami called me and said that De had left me a message, but I didn't get a call - was at my in laws and just as I told Jami that the reception sucks we got d/c lol.
(BTW...De and Jami sound like twins on the phone!)
So Monday came, no call. I was disappointed but not devastated. We have been in situations similar and things can happen. De told me that she had to coordinate the call with her counselor so it may be later in the week.
Tuesday, no call. I talked to Jami and De on messenger and they still said that she will call that she even thanked Bre and De for finding someone for her baby.
I then remembered there was that message from De on my phone, so I listened to it and got chills! We have always said if we had a son we would name him Isaac. Sara in the Bible was barren and God blessed her with a child later in life. Isaac grew up and married Rebecca.
De says, (in her Jami like voice...really yankee by the way haha just kidding) Rebecca is gonna call you. The baby is due September 10th and she will have an US on the 5th of May to know the sex. (Issac married Rebecca...hence chills)
Wednesday came, no call...hope dwindled but if she decided to keep her child and work on herself how could that be wrong.
So today...super craptastic day it started out to be...turned around with the ring of my phone. Rebecca called. She CALLED!
She asked is this Hope? (She also has a Jami - esque tone to her voice...maybe it is an IL thing :) ) I said yes, she told me she was Rebecca and she was friends with Bre. My mind spun in a million different circles. I had all these questions written out - at home. So I had no clue what to ask. She told me that she had 2 kids and they weren't with her. That she needed to concentrate on her sobriety and getting her life straight and another child would be too much for her to handle. She said she considered abortion but she was getting back into church and is catholic and abortions are a big no no and she didn't want to live with that on her heart. She said she prayed for answers and adoption seemed to be where God was leading her. Then she met Bre, and Bre and De told her about me and so here she was - prayers answered. She wants to get to know me of course, I am over nighting my adoption portfolio in the morning. She said all her docs visits have been great too by the way and that her due date is OCT 10th, not September...just more time to get ready!
I am calling our lawyer in the morning. I am not sure if he does interstate adoptions.
She didn't sound like a crazy girl that was pulling my chain. She said she cried when they told her about me. She feels like a weight is off her shoulders.
She couldn't talk long, but said her children are being baptized on Sunday and she will have a pass, so she could call me to talk longer. So she will call me at 2 on Sunday. tap tap tap is it 2 yet?
What are the chances that there is some girl in a state a 1000 miles away has a baby in her belly and wants to give it up for adoption? Pretty good I guess. But what are the chances that that state be the state that some of the people I love the most ever live in? Still pretty high I guess. BUT, what are the chances that that girl would be in a rehab at the exact same time that one of the said beloved people's relative is there and knows that Scott and I want to adopt a baby???? What are the chances that her name would be Rebecca the same name of the woman that marries Isaac in the Bible - the same name we will give our son??? Not chances - God's hand. I believe that.
So yeah, cloud 9987938493897 right now. Even though I just threw up my veggie lo mien. Pray for this miracle. Pray that she likes us. Pray that our finances can handle the costs of adoption/travel. Pray she has an easy pregnancy. Pray if she does change her mind it is for all the right reasons. I won't hate her, I won't ever hate her. I already love her for the hope she has given to me. No matter how this goes, she is real. I heard her voice. Any other situation we have been presented with...the mother's were real but I never spoke to them, I never heard them choke up when talking about God sending someone to take care of their child.
Funny, I called Jami first...I promised :) Lena and John were in the car when I told her. I called Scott but wouldn't tell him on the phone. I called my mom...so funny, she cried like I was telling her I was pregnant. Kari called me and I told her. Then Scott came home and fussed because I was on the phone with Kari. So I made him sit in front of me and held his hand while I told him. With Jen and Chris hearing as we went. It is all just magical right now, I hope this feeling never ends.
P.S. Have I told you how much better life is with Jen and Chris in it. I think we have shared more, gotten closer in the last few weeks than I ever dreamed. Love that letting go and letting God makes things so much sweeter and easier.
Ok, gotta print our thingy out and add a few new things...such as a new baby :)
I love ya'll...thanks for being here for me .. always!