Sunday, April 12, 2009


I get the results of the biopsy. Praying that things are normal. IF (have to laugh at if) I am still bleeding tomorrow they will schedule a D&C. If I am not I will declare it a miracle :) He still does those! But, I am not sure I could go from full steam to nothing in the next 12ish hours.

A D&C at this point would be a relief just to get it over with...never thought I would want one. Have had many and fought to not have each and every one.

In other news... I am addicted to is official, I can't believe it. My friends list exploded sort of this weekend. I have discovered family, friends, old class mates, (yeah I guess old fits at this point) people I used to work with...and a few others. I have lunch plans in the works, a family get together with family that we see at funerals and such. Fellow student and I are gonna work to get our classmates together for a reunion of sorts. I found a cherished teacher/friend. She played the piano at my wedding - her brother played the trumpet. It is amazing how memories ease every day life stresses. Also, going through pictures and scanning some of my own..haha.

I am anxious about tomorrow, but God is in control and He will carry me through whatever valley or mountain I must endure.

Today we were heading to Scott's parents. I didn't feel like going, I don't think I have ever missed an Easter sunrise service or regular Easter Sunday service...but I just couldn't go. I missed my sweet baby Italy's dedication today as well. I can't sit for long or be far away from the bathroom for long due to Auntie Flow. SO OVER IT!

But, I was laying back in the seat...grumbling about the cramps and whatever else. Then I heard a song on the radio...wasn't familiar with it but a line of He died so I could live came across and tears filled my eyes. I was holding Scott's sweet hand and I squeezed it as I prayed...thanking God for giving me life, for taking my sin and making it possible for me to have salvation. Then I thanked Him for Scott. He knew that I would be where I am right now. He knew this 20 years ago before I met Scott that I would be in a valley. He knew that I needed Scott. He knew that I would struggle to make it day to day without someone that loved me like Scott does. Thank You!

Thank You Jesus for Scott, for his love, for his patience, for his sacrifices, for putting up with things and never grumbling. Scott amazes me daily. While the love that God has for me is amazing and is Scott's. God gave him a heart just for me.

He holds my hand any chance he gets.
He rubs my back every night.
He kisses me even when I am asleep - or he thinks I am.
He calls just to hear my voice.
He brings me a cranberry limeade from Sonic even when I don't ask.
He hangs a towel and washcloth on the bar everyday so I don't have to bend over to get one.
He washes clothes.
He makes sure I have a bottle of water every night.
He doesn't watch a movie he knows I would want to see until we can do it together.
He keeps a supply of ice pops in the freezer for me.
He makes sure I take my medications.
He makes me call the doctors when I don't want to.
He lets me listen to my music in the car.
He parks the car so I have a short walk to the door.
He holds out his hand to help me up the steps.
He never complains.
He hugs me anytime he catches me out of the bed.
He rubs my feet even when I don't ask.
He lets me put my cold feet on his skin to warm them up.
He takes the long way so we don't hit the big bump in the road.
He will drop everything to take me to the doctor or to bring me something to make me feel better.
He still loves me even though it seems I won't ever give him a baby.
He loves me.
He loves God.
He loves my family.
He loves our crazy pets.

I could go on and on...

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1 comment:

  1. Oh Hope...I'm just catching up on the past few days of your posts. I pray that whatever happened today, that you are out of pain.