Monday, July 24, 2006

Sometimes...

God puts you just where you need to be....even when you don't know it.

Last night, the Greene's came to our church to sing. WOW. I know a lot of their songs and have almost worn out the TaRanda's CD. I can probably sing every word to all of them. Her song about Isabella...I have to skip sometimes...it is about her love for her blessing...her baby girl. They have this T-shirt, I hope they have it online, didn't have the money last night...but it has a blood stained cross on it...and says "I was saved by a blood donor"...how cool!! Even Scott said he would wear it...so I will get 2 if the opportunity is there.

Anyways, last night was amazing. I went there so heavy with burdens and worries...wasn't sure if I would even go. I was even late for choir practice...so not like me. We sit down and we were closer to the front than Scott likes, but our usual seats were taken...and I wanted to see good. When she sings, her whole face lights up, she smiles with her whole body...just melts ya! She sung Skyfull of Angels, a fav..and #1 on the charts...which they gave her a framed CD and all last night...so happy for her! But then....she sang My Redeemer Lives..and it is awesome on her CD...I think it is close to 9 minutes on the CD...but last night...it felt like I was wrapped up in that song, all around me I could feel "HIM"! I can hold my emotions in church very well most of the time, but I started crying and couldn't stop. With all that has been going on, and I really don't see the end in sight...I think I forgot...My Redeemer LIVES! No matter what is going on in my life...He is in control. Then they sung this song...God Did...sigh, He had to have been right there when they were writing their set list saying...Hope needs that...oh yeah, that one too! Then ... wow... Tony sang I can't even walk...without You holding my hand. I have heard that song since I was young...and boy they have revived it. It hit me like a ton of bricks.

I have been walking around, feeling alone and like nothing or no one can help. I keep looking around...down...everywhich way but UP. He Lives, He holds my hand, He carries me, He knows it all, He hears, He helps, He forgives, He is always there.

Life has been so hard lately, I don't know why He has me in this valley...but I walk through it...crawl through it if He wants me to. Look at what He did for me!!

I never thought I would be here, 24/7 headache, no salary coming in, frustrated with no real diagnosis since the stroke. My medicine bills are reaching epic proportions...he is trying me on all this new stuff. Thank God for providing all that He has, and I know...yes, I KNOW... He will sustain us...and ohhh how sweet the mountain is gonna be.

I just wanted to post about the Greenes before my day got going. While I was praying this morning and having my God time...I thought about the child with Cancer last night, and I thought how selfish I am sometimes. I pray for me me me and there are so many that are more deserving of my prayers.

Well, I better get off here, I have a dear sweet brother coming tonight and I want the house to look good and have him something cooked!

Love,
Hope

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