My heart is where ever Scott is...and in a general sense, it isn't always home. Myrtle beach felt like home, friends felt like home, church felt like home..job too. But we went home this weekend to unload our stuff in the house in Drexel. Home was all around me. There was my mom and dad, there was my brother Todd talking a mile a minute :), my brother Tommy...who just got saved! There were my neices and nephews. There was the mountain I stared at for 20+ years of my life, there was the crisp air with the smell of my uncles fireplace roaring. There were the stupid balls off the sweet gum tree that kill your bare feet. There were Scott's parents and Chirsten and Caleb. There were mammas chicken -n- dumplings! Lena's meatloaf. There was the house we never thought we would live in again....filled to the rim with everything we own. There was an old boyfriend at Auto Zone...HAHA..how cool that it took me forever to figure out who he was...but he knew me from the back of my head! Maybe I was his one that got away....Scott just laughed, a little nervous laugh though, and said "I WON"! Scott had me from hello....corny I know, but true. That...all of that makes home...HOME. I won't ever leave again I don't think, unless God insists!
I had a revelation too while we were considering all of the moving home issues. A child, born in Myrtle Beach...or adopted here, would never know the joys of spending the night with me-maw and papaw on a whim, or go to the falls where his/her great great grandpa had his corn grounded into corn meal. He/she would miss all that closeness with cousins and aunts and uncles and such like Scott and I had. The beach wouldn't be somewhere special to visit...would just be where we live. I just can't deal with the thought that my 'selfish' decision to live 5 hours away from everyone would take that away from our child.
Speaking of children. When we get home, it has been decided...we will do foster care. We will adopt a child, we will become more than a couple...we will...WILL become a family. I kick myself a lot lately that I never opened up completely to adoption. If I had...(Scott had!) we would be a family. God's time Hope, God's time...not my time! I can't wait really. I know we have to do a lot of things to the house to get it ready for a child, but we will do it.
Today, I will get my beta back and know if this cycle was a bust. Any time really. I figured it would have been back already...but, the machine is being slow. I am not publishing this though until she calls. It is negative...:(
The Diva's went private today....well, Yesterday really. It is nice to share and not worry about who is reading or whatever. We share so much personal info, we all were getting a little nervous.