Tuesday, January 06, 2009

New year...renewed Hope

After all the crazy emotions of the holidays - ya'll know the ones - I feel refreshed in a sense. We have set some goals for this year, and we made some resolutions for the year. Things that are reachable, things that we need to change or happen in our lives. We feel good about it.

We also talked about what direction to go in to expand our family. We are getting our ducks in a row and then hopefully by March or April we will go full steam ahead. One of our ducks being...

HEALTH...we are both over weight, we both want to lose enough weight to be able to run around after a child. Also I hope to get the spinal stimulator put in soon so I will be in less pain and be able to run around too!

My birthday is this month...the big 4-0. SIGH I know as it gets closer it will hit hard. Where did time go?? I just feel like the last 10 years have flown by while I am still 29 going through even more fertility treatments...realistically expecting a child way before I was 40.

But, my hope is renewed...we both feel like this is going to happen soon. We know that God wants us to be happy. There have been some other things that happened in our lives that make us really feel like something is about to finally happen.

I have a lot of catching up to do. I haven't done much of anything online lately, I have had so much family drama going on and have really not been feeling great lately - physically and emotional. But I am better.

The holidays were hard for many reasons. Aunt Flow visited and that makes me so hormonal. I miss my brother Mark so much at holidays. And now our family misses Chris. He hasn't passed away, he isn't dead...though he has said we are dead to him. None of it makes sense. God just opened my eyes that I can't change any one's mind that doesn't want to be changed. Even though he is hurting his entire family - I can't make him care. All I can do is pray for him and his new family. Thank God for the children's mother (not his wife)...she gives us time with the children; that alone takes the edge off of the pain. Those two wonderful children make all the stress and grief worth it. Just please pray for him and our family. He is out of church, pray that God convicts him and he finds his way back into God's will.

Finally got my blogger template updated...not my favorite but I like it.

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1 comment:

  1. Hi Hope! I like the new look! And, I enjoyed reading your goals for 2009 - which are right in line with BT and I! I am curious what a spinal stimulation is, only because I have such issues with my back and the same concerns as you (keeping up with a child)!
    Keep lookin' up! Our days will come and they will be wonderous!