Update :)

The lawyer is on the ball, working hard to get things rolling in the right direction. He talked to Rebecca and set up an appointment. He also tracked down the man she feels is most likely the father and has set up an appointment with him as well. He is in prison, so he can't not show up! :) He sent us copies of the prison pictures as well, and he is not a bad looking guy...I had all sorts of images in my mind, but none were really close.

I talk to Rebecca daily for most part now. Her birthday is tomorrow and I have a little something for her. Her two year old's birthday is this weekend and she is having him a party. We got him some Thomas the Trains.

She is doing good, she freaked me out a little when she texts me this...

Can you give me his exact spelling of his name - just in case.

I was like ohh goodness is she having contractions? Ohh my!! So I texts her back the full name and said is there something I should know haha? She texts me back that no, nothing was happening labor wise, but just in case something happened quick, she wanted to give them his name. ahhhh, my heart can beat again!

I have been sick for the past week, stomach flu along with all the stress of things has made it more intense than it was for most of my family who got it, spent 24 good hours with it and then poof. Well, I got it...it went, then it came back and then got worse! I needed a few days rest and it is gone, but I am weak as pond water. But, getting better :)

Things are getting so close, every minute seems to be ticking in my head now, in my heart. I feel like there is so much to do. But, I can't get stressed because I gotta keep my self together for the next few weeks.

As if things weren't crazy enough....

We knew that our commode had been leaking for a while. We knew the floor had to be taken up around it and new tile put down. Well, they took the commode up and the layer of tile that was down before we moved in...and the layer below that, and the layer below that. Well, the layer of plywood was wet and rotten. So my sweet father in law started taking it up, but there were another layer under it...and another. He took up three layers of rotted plywood and then fell through three more. The floor was so rotted that it didn't even scratch him when he fell through them. So 6 layers of plywood later, the joists and such were rotted too. They had to pull up flooring and sub flooring to the dirt basically.

So, they did all the flooring and thought they were done. We had a bright idea to remove the surround around the old iron tub. Umm yeah, that ended up worse than the floor! All the 2x4's in the walls were rotted from water. You could squeeze them and water would squirt out. Then we discovered the black and white mold. So ALL the walls, the tub, the rest of the floor and the window had to come out. What was a weekend project has turned into 3 weeks so far. Scott and John (my father in law) refuse to just hire someone to come do it and have been doing it a little at a time. The plan was to have it done when I got back from IL...umm, been back a week - no 2 almost now. Still at the in laws.

They promise this weekend or they will get someone to finish it. GRR

But, I have realized how strong our relationship is with our Scott's parents. We have enjoyed our time together and no one has complained too much. I miss my bed, as does Lena and John I am sure. We are sleeping in theirs. We love each other a lot, and I am so glad of that.

I am overwhelmed multiple times a day at how God has brought Isaac to us. I feel so unworthy of all He has given to me lately. The friends and family, who have helped us in ways that I could never repay.

I think about how just a year ago, my heart felt so empty...I wondered if God even heard my prayers. I had this set plan in my heart and head that I thought was what my future should be. He had other plans. He had Isaac. He had Rebecca. He had Jami. He had De and her daughter Bre. He had all of them, and set them into motion to bring His plan to my reality.

I think about Psalm 139: 16 how He knew me, knew everything about me before even one of my days came to be. That is overwhelming. That brings peace though, because I think about Jeremiah 29:11 and how He has plans to prosper us, not to harm us. We have free will, and while bad things happen, things that harm us...that isn't what God wants for us.

All I need is the faith the size of a mustard seed. Sometimes that is hard to even do. I am so weak. If I had to do it all on my own, I would fail even more than I do now. I don't say this to upset anyone...but I don't know how people who don't know Jesus as their Savior gets through any tragedy or difficult situation. I don't know what I would do without Him to lean on.

As every day passes, and Isaac is closer...I just want him to know how he got to me. I want him to know God had this planned long before I had my first day. Long before Scott had his. Scott and I have claimed I Samuel 1:11 and want Isaac to be given to serve God in whatever way He sees fit. I just lose my breath when I think of the testimony Isaac will have; and how he will grow and how God will use him. I feel so privileged to be the mother to this baby. TEARS!

I hope to do God and Isaac justice, they both deserve my best.

Sorry..

I forgot to post what happened with Rebecca the next day...

When I got to the airport she texts me that her phone died while she was on the road and she didn't have my number anywhere else, and all the directions I gave her were in the phone. She was so upset, and honestly I was too. It all just seemed like so much in a short period of time...the doctors appointment change, the zoo...then this. But, after some much needed sleep it added up a lot better than when I was sitting in the airport running on fumes :)

It was hard to be so close to her and the baby and not see them, but I have faith everything is gonna be fine. This is God's plan and no amount of our input will change it. In less than 4 weeks he will be here, in our arms and that makes any pain, disappointment or lack of sleep worth it!

(HUGS)

Whadda Trip

On Wednesday before I left, Rebecca called and told me the doctor changed the appointment to Monday. There was no way I could stay till Monday so we decided to just meet at a local zoo so the kids could play and we could talk. She planned to bring her 2 year old. I just wanted to see her so that was ok.

I woke up at 2:30 Thursday morning to fly out of Charlotte. Almost as soon as I got out of the shower I was vomiting...hmph! I thought it was nerves or maybe new dose of meds, but after getting home I discovered that most of my family on Scott's side has had a stomach bug! So I probably shared that with a zillion people given my extensive riding on public transportation that day! SORRY WORLD!

When I landed in Atlanta for my connecting flight it was raining, gloomy, dark...just not pretty. Then we took off and as I freaked a little because I couldn't see and if I couldn't see then umm pilots couldn't see, my breath was taken as we rose above the clouds and that dismal, dark sky gave way to the bluest sky, so bright that my eyes watered. The sun was hot on my face as well, and the clouds looked like the whitest snow ever. My eyes leaked a little more, but because I felt so close to God at that moment. I can't explain it at all. Even the picture doesn't do justice. I was so sick I couldn't take many, but you get the point.

It didn't go quite as expected, hoped...but some things exceeded my expectations!
First...boy I think I rode in every mode of public transportation there is almost! I was so exhausted by the time Jami picked me up at the train station. I saw her drive up in her hillbilly truck :) and out jumped De and I hugged her neck till I am sure it hurt! Then Jami popped around from the back of the truck and I just didn't want to let go. In the back seat sat the cutest babes - twins Addison and Clark! ALL smiles! All of this did my heart good!

So we get to the zoo after HAGatha (GPS LADY) drove us around in circles, and just hung out in the grass while the twins played. She planned to be there around 3. But, around 3 she texted that she is running late, she took her son to the doctor and they were sending him to the hospital for some blood work and it would be late before she could get there. She doesn't drive, so she had to take the bus everywhere.

I was exhausted, the kids were ready for a nap, all of us where ready to go. So I texted her back that we would just go to Jami's (who was around 2 hours away) and that I hoped we could meet or talk more on Friday.

I never seen so many corn fields! :) It was beautiful country side, awesome farm houses and barns and silos and such. We get to Jami's and we all fall out and go inside. Jami has a beautiful home and family. Besides the twins she has a sweet husband named CJ who made me feel so welcomed. He is a hoot haha. She also has a super cute son Alec who when I first met him was all sweaty and stinky from football practice and still was cute! Then there was Ally who was precious! She gave me a butterfly that she made, I will keep it forever! Oh and she has a son named Pony too...he is a 100+ pound hoooge pup that thinks he is a lap dog. He is an awesome dog!

It was like I had hung out with Jami and De forever. It flowed all natural like. I loved how we could kick our shoes off and laugh and talk and give physical substance to a friendship I cherish so much. De, I hadn't known her as long and as deep but she is one of those people who you just love from the get go. She is real, tells it how it is and to watch her with the twins melts your heart. They love their TeeTee!

Jami and De...beautiful in and out!

So I slept with Jami...well, not just Jami... Pony her dog slept in the middle. Did I mention he is hooge? He snored and rolled around, but for the most part he was a good bed partner. I thought I spooned with Jami, turns out Pony is a spooner! :)

That next morning, I woke up and played with the twins most of the morning. They are so precious. I laughed so hard at them. And when either of them would say "Hello Hopie" I would melt. ahhhh. I wish I had recorded it! Clark LOVES to nuggle which is sweet, and his smile just gets you to do about anything! He had to peepee so he said Hope take me. Awww. So I walked him into the bathroom and he said turn around! I was like how cute, he doesn't want to show his weewee to me. *Shoulda been my first clue, he ran around naked all morning :)* I turned around impressed, couldn't wait to share about his modesty. After about 20 or so seconds I didn't hear any pee sounds...hmm. I turned around and there he stood over a mountain of gold bond powder he squirted in the floor. I giggled and said Clark! And he looked back and swatted at the mountain until it was everywhere! HE TRICKED ME!! Sneaky lil thing!

We went to see the lawyer, he was awesome! He had pictures of his kids that he had took all over his walls! GREAT pics too. We talked a lot and he is hopeful this will be pretty easy and straightforward. Him and Jami knew some of the same people, not always a good thing haha, but at least she knew him from their boy's playing ball together and not from some crime she committed. Though there was a murder in Dixon and it wasn't me. hmmm He feels he will be able to get us temporary custody pretty quick and we can come home. But, we will have to go back up to be before a judge to sign papers later. That made me feel SOO good! He will call Rebecca this week and set up a time to meet and go over things, find the father if possible and get the legal ball really rolling.

As we were leaving, Jami gets a text from Shannon and I get one from Rebecca. Rebecca asks for Jami's address - her mom is bringing her to see me! Ohh I about lost it. I said Jami...I need to give her your address!! She looked at me like I was nuts and said that Sha knew how to get to her house. I said yes, but Rebecca doesn't!!!! She bout wrecked that hillbilly truck! Rebecca said she would be there between 6 and 7! We all were excited.

We get home and a few minutes later...Shannon and Kari walked in. Oh goodness, I hugged and hugged and hugged and cried and hugged. I even pinched Shannon a little later to make sure she was really there. We all were going to dinner, but we wanted to wait for Rebecca and hope she would go with us. We waited. And we waited. She texted me that they were behind, but about 30 minutes from the exit. Then about an hour later she texted that she needed the turn by turns so I texted them to her. She said she had one bar left and would call me from her moms phone, but they were 1 mile from the Dixon exit...2.5 miles from us! This was around 830 I guess. By 9 we knew something had happened. De and Bre left and we ordered a pizza and just hung out enjoying each other. It was soo good to see them and to just be in their presence!!

Jami, me, Kari and Shannon

After that we fell asleep on Jami's gynormous sectional. It was all good until about 2 when I started hearing about every 30 minutes MOOOOOooooooo MOOOOOOOOooo or a rooster crowing. I thought how odd of a ringer for either of them. ALL NIGHT LONG...finally after we woke up and everyone thought the other had a crazy ringer we realized the kids left toy on the table and it wasn't us. SIGH!

I left about 530 or so, CJ took me to Rockford. He was so sweet to take me and talked to me the whole way. I sat to wait for the bus and pulled out my receipt for paying for the ticket. I stand in line when the bus gets there and he puts my luggage on the bus and takes my 'receipt'. Then he hands it back and says this isn't my ticket, and he can't put me on the bus. I lost it, as he was taking others money and tickets, I just lost it. Blubbering like a fool, I said I am from NC in the middle of IL with no clue of how to get to anywhere from here. I have to fly out of Midway and can't miss the bus. He asked if I had cash...I had 5 bucks on me. He doesn't take credit or checks...I was done fore. Clear as a bell on the receipt it says THIS IS NOT YOUR TICKET grrr. I blubbered some more for him to give me my suit case back and he shuffled the wallet of money for the bus and got his own wallet out and paid for my ticket. I begged for his name so I could repay him. He wouldn't tell me. He had no badge on. He said it says I paid for a ticket and if it came off my credit card then the office would reimburse him...if not either way my ticket was paid for. I cried even harder. When we got off the bus, I asked again for his name and he said not to worry about it. Mom says he was an angel, I tend to agree.

Getting home was sweet as soon as I saw my love, he just makes everything ok in the world. The lawyer was taken aback a little that we are so close and had such a short engagement. But we KNEW! God KNEW! Almost 20 years! We are doing something right.

Well, I will think of more later...but I am so tired! Thanks again for the prayers!

I did talk to Rebecca today...she is dilated a 1 - not that that means too much ;)

What a day...

Yesterday and today I have had laryngitis...yay Scott ;)

My head was hurting too and when I woke up I knew I had things to do and just felt like staying in bed.

I stayed with my little lady Monday night and Tuesday night, Wednesday morning I woke up at 5ish throwing up like crazy. I was so glad to get home and in my bed and close to my sweet husband. The money is good, she is nice but booooo I miss my hubby!!

So today was blah, I needed to call Jami to firm up our plans for next week when we see Rebecca. I had to scream into the phone almost for her to hear me haha. We talked and gabbed a bit...a little bit since my voice was just air with a garbled sound. Then Jami asked if I had talked to the lawyer about maybe doing it pro bono. Hmm, no I hadn't. So when we hung up I emailed him, just telling him about some of our issues financially and he emailed me this back...

Hope,

I am very pleased to hear from you. I understand that life sometimes puts roadblocks in our way, and would like to work with you towards your goal. Its interesting to hear this from you, because ever since we talked, I've felt very strongly that I should have offered you some alternative to the usual retainer in these type of cases. Perhaps God was speaking to me on your behalf. Who am I to question Him, after all?

I am confident we can work something out. My first idea would be to reduce the retainer to $3500.00 and have your husband build a website for me. Does that seem feasible to you? Please let me know.

How amazing is that??? I all but ... ok I did cry. That is enough to really make a difference. I love how he had thought it before I emailed him...dang it he shoulda told me so I wouldn't have been stressing so much. We are still working on all the money, but he agreed to let us pay him $2000 next week and then the rest when we come up for the birth. AHHH how awesome is our God!! and our lawyer!!!

So that made my day, along with a do do do do do moment with my mom...

She saw her friend Pat this week and Pat called her yesterday and wanted mom to pray for her to find her jewelry, a few pieces she can't find but are very expensive. She was crying and so mom prayed with her. Mom said she was praying and it was like God told her they were in a drawer. Mom told Pat as soon as she stopped praying what she felt and Pat blew it off saying she had looked everywhere in every drawer. Well, today Pat called mom...she had went to get her bra out of the drawer and just as she lifted it up there was the jewelry laying under the bra!! Pat was really laughing and crying at the same time, mom said it really feels good when God lets us know He hears our prayers. That is what I told mom, I was on my face praying most of the day yesterday for Isaac...and He heard my prayer.

I just sang this song for mom last Sunday...

Whispered Prayers

Whispered prayers
ride the wings of
holy angels from here to there
God is listening when we speak them
There is power in whispered prayers.

AMEN!!

Thank you friends/family...some strangers as well, for your whispered prayers!


On a side note, talked to Rebecca Monday and she had gained 40 pounds, the baby is great and is now estimated to be around 8 pounds when born. She is excited to meet me, as I am her. I can't wait to hug her and look in her eyes and just tell her face to face how much she means to us. I will post tons of pics :)