Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Update :)

The lawyer is on the ball, working hard to get things rolling in the right direction. He talked to Rebecca and set up an appointment. He also tracked down the man she feels is most likely the father and has set up an appointment with him as well. He is in prison, so he can't not show up! :) He sent us copies of the prison pictures as well, and he is not a bad looking guy...I had all sorts of images in my mind, but none were really close.

I talk to Rebecca daily for most part now. Her birthday is tomorrow and I have a little something for her. Her two year old's birthday is this weekend and she is having him a party. We got him some Thomas the Trains.

She is doing good, she freaked me out a little when she texts me this...

Can you give me his exact spelling of his name - just in case.

I was like ohh goodness is she having contractions? Ohh my!! So I texts her back the full name and said is there something I should know haha? She texts me back that no, nothing was happening labor wise, but just in case something happened quick, she wanted to give them his name. ahhhh, my heart can beat again!

I have been sick for the past week, stomach flu along with all the stress of things has made it more intense than it was for most of my family who got it, spent 24 good hours with it and then poof. Well, I got went, then it came back and then got worse! I needed a few days rest and it is gone, but I am weak as pond water. But, getting better :)

Things are getting so close, every minute seems to be ticking in my head now, in my heart. I feel like there is so much to do. But, I can't get stressed because I gotta keep my self together for the next few weeks.

As if things weren't crazy enough....

We knew that our commode had been leaking for a while. We knew the floor had to be taken up around it and new tile put down. Well, they took the commode up and the layer of tile that was down before we moved in...and the layer below that, and the layer below that. Well, the layer of plywood was wet and rotten. So my sweet father in law started taking it up, but there were another layer under it...and another. He took up three layers of rotted plywood and then fell through three more. The floor was so rotted that it didn't even scratch him when he fell through them. So 6 layers of plywood later, the joists and such were rotted too. They had to pull up flooring and sub flooring to the dirt basically.

So, they did all the flooring and thought they were done. We had a bright idea to remove the surround around the old iron tub. Umm yeah, that ended up worse than the floor! All the 2x4's in the walls were rotted from water. You could squeeze them and water would squirt out. Then we discovered the black and white mold. So ALL the walls, the tub, the rest of the floor and the window had to come out. What was a weekend project has turned into 3 weeks so far. Scott and John (my father in law) refuse to just hire someone to come do it and have been doing it a little at a time. The plan was to have it done when I got back from IL...umm, been back a week - no 2 almost now. Still at the in laws.

They promise this weekend or they will get someone to finish it. GRR

But, I have realized how strong our relationship is with our Scott's parents. We have enjoyed our time together and no one has complained too much. I miss my bed, as does Lena and John I am sure. We are sleeping in theirs. We love each other a lot, and I am so glad of that.

I am overwhelmed multiple times a day at how God has brought Isaac to us. I feel so unworthy of all He has given to me lately. The friends and family, who have helped us in ways that I could never repay.

I think about how just a year ago, my heart felt so empty...I wondered if God even heard my prayers. I had this set plan in my heart and head that I thought was what my future should be. He had other plans. He had Isaac. He had Rebecca. He had Jami. He had De and her daughter Bre. He had all of them, and set them into motion to bring His plan to my reality.

I think about Psalm 139: 16 how He knew me, knew everything about me before even one of my days came to be. That is overwhelming. That brings peace though, because I think about Jeremiah 29:11 and how He has plans to prosper us, not to harm us. We have free will, and while bad things happen, things that harm us...that isn't what God wants for us.

All I need is the faith the size of a mustard seed. Sometimes that is hard to even do. I am so weak. If I had to do it all on my own, I would fail even more than I do now. I don't say this to upset anyone...but I don't know how people who don't know Jesus as their Savior gets through any tragedy or difficult situation. I don't know what I would do without Him to lean on.

As every day passes, and Isaac is closer...I just want him to know how he got to me. I want him to know God had this planned long before I had my first day. Long before Scott had his. Scott and I have claimed I Samuel 1:11 and want Isaac to be given to serve God in whatever way He sees fit. I just lose my breath when I think of the testimony Isaac will have; and how he will grow and how God will use him. I feel so privileged to be the mother to this baby. TEARS!

I hope to do God and Isaac justice, they both deserve my best.

1 comment:

  1. I've been looking for an update from you, glad you're feeling better.

    My fertility journey was not as long as yours, but painful none-the-less. I wanted to share a moment with you though, I'm sure that you'll have a very similar moment of your own.

    When Ayla was a day old, I was in the NICU visiting her and was suddenly overcome with emotion. I was staring at my baby, the one that God had given me and realized - if my prayers would have been answered sooner - if MY plan would have been followed, rather than God's plan...I wouldn't have had Ayla. She would have been a different baby, in order to have Ayla I needed to wait. God's plan was for Darren and I to have Ayla. I still look at her sometimes and think to myself 'what if we would have gotten pregnant when WE wanted to? what baby would we have gotten?' our baby would NOT have been Ayla and the mere thought of that makes me shudder.

    Isaac is on his way with God's purpose. He is meant for you and Scott and when you see him, when you touch him.....there really are no words.

    I'm so happy for you guys!!

    Oh, and btw....have you registered yet???