Scott has been so sick, I think it was the flu to begin with but he developed some type of bacterial infection in his lung!?! He was put on a strong antibiotic and was out of work almost all week. Needless to say I hate to see him sick, it breaks my heart! We weren't able to go to the beach of course, last thing we would want is to make anyone else sick. It tore me up not to go but, I know it was best but I hated to miss the birth of baby Jack Henry.
All went well even though I wasn't there *wink*. He was born healthy and happy on the 21st, 8 pounds and 6 ounces. He is soooo pretty - oops excuse me handsome. Burt and Leslie texted me pictures and he looks a lot like Colin but has his own little look to himself as well. Colin is going to be a wonderful big brother, already he is in love with Jack Henry. Leslie said he told Jack Henry to open his eyes so he could see him...aww. And he wanted to feed him his bottle too...I think he will be mommas little helper.
I can't wait to get there to hold him and love on him, both of them. I can imagine Colin checking in on his brother when they both are in daycare, how cute will that be!?! I am sure Burt's chest is all puffed out and is so happy to be the daddy to these two beautiful babies...can't blame him. Even though Burt is a stinker...a big ole stinker...I love him too. Him and Leslie are such great parents already I am sure the addition of this little bundle will make them all the more better. I hope when we become parents we can use them as our example!!
Speaking of us becoming parents...grr. I went to the doctor last week I think it was....time flies. My sugars have increased which confuses me, my home testing seems to show they have decreased. A hgb A1c was done and that looks at your levels over a period of time and it went from a 6.3 to a 6.9. Sooo he put me back on injections twice a day and a different medicine for pain - well, for nerve pain. I hope it works. As far as my glucose levels...I have noticed a big decrease already and the meds make me nauseated so I have lost 3 pounds since last week. My migraines were making a comeback so I went back on Toporol for those - and also my blood pressure. That medicine helps with both so fingers crossed. With all of this...trying to conceive is put on hold for 4 months yet again...sigh.
God, I don't understand why...I don't know how to face my future with dreams of a child not becoming a reality. Scott and I talked about adopting again, and that is something we are really considering. We also for the first time talked about surrogacy. We have someone in mind, someone we feel would do this for us because she loves us that much. But...it is hard to swallow, right now my throat got tight and the thought of it all made me tremble. The cost of it all will be overwhelming as well...for the baby to be of Scott and I - we would have to have egg retrieval, have it fertilized and see if it becomes an embryo. Success and the next step would be IVF - CHA CHING$$$!! That is the only way we would go with a surrogate - if the child could be 100% ours. The other thing to consider...say they retrieve 10 eggs...8 become embryos and 2 are implanted during IVF...what about the other 6? Those are babies too...ugh. So much to think about.
I just feel stuck, but I know that my God is bigger than all of this. I know that without valleys there would be no mountains...without rain there would be no flowers or rainbows. But when it is raining - flowers and rainbows are the furthest from my mind. So in this storm I need to be reminded of rainbows and the birth of a best friends baby is certainly a reminder. The warm touch of the love of my life...rainbows. The answered prayer surely brings the fragrance of flowers.
I got this soundtrack in the mail today...can't wait to sing it.
You are Good by Point of Grace
When the sun starts to rise and I open my eyes
You are good, so good
In the heat of the day with each stone that I lay
You are good, so good
With every breath I take in
I'll tell You I'm grateful again
When the moon rises high before each kiss goodnight
You are good
When the road starts to turn around each bend I've learned
You are good, so good
And when somebody's hand holds me up, helps me stand
You are so good
With every breath I take in
I'll tell You I'm grateful again
'Cause it's more than enough just to know I am loved
And you are good
So how can I thank You
And what can I bring
What can a poor man lay at the feet of a king
So I'll sing you a love song
It's all that I have
To tell You I'm grateful
For holding my life in Your hands
When it's dark and it's cold and I can't feel my soul
You are still good
When the world has gone gray and the rain's here to stay
You are still good
With every breath I take in
I'll tell you I'm grateful again
And the storm may swell even then it is well
You are good
So how can I thank You
And what can I bring
What can a poor man lay at the feet of a king
So I'll sing you a love song
It's all that I have
To tell You I'm grateful
For holding my life in Your hands
and last thing...this video is worth watching and will bring many tears.
http://www.ignitermedia.com/products/iv/singles/570/99-Balloons
No comments:
Post a Comment