Lasts and firsts

Yesterday, like a lot of people we celebrated July 4th. Independence day. Nothing big, we just hung out with Scott's parents and brother and family. I was feeling like crud and our plans changed at the last minute.

But, as we sat out in the yard watching my father in law light fireworks for the kids it hit me. This is my last 4th of July without my child. I won't ever look at fireworks the same. It was the last time where how I was feeling came first in deciding how to spend this holiday. Unless I am bed ridden, every holiday will be spent to the fullest with my child. AHHH MY CHILD...have sweeter words every been spoken? Not yet...when I hear the first I love you mommy...or heck the first mammmmma will be the sweetest then every word coming out of his mouth will be cherished by this mommy to be.

Every day until he is with us will be one more of 'the last of's'. Whew...

Then after he is with us, our life will be a never ending plethora of firsts. I can't wait for the first touch, the first kiss, the first breath of air that we will share, the first time I hold him, the first time I see Scott holding his son, the first time we fall asleep with him snuggled between us, the first time he smiles...

I just realized in just 95+/- days he will be here. Holy crap I need to make lists of things to do!