Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Not this time..

But I have to remember....His time, not mine. I wasn't sure how to post about another negative test result...or IF I could. But, it is part of this journey. I was the most disappointed than ever before. I think because I felt everything that someone pregnant feels. I don't think I imagined everything. I even had 2 faint positive tests. That is the kicker. My doctor said it could have been a chemical pregnancy. She said my chart and everything looked soo good.

I guess the biggest heartbreak was that I got Scott all excited too. He saw the lines on the pregnancy tests, he really believed too. I was more hurt about him being hurt than anything. This was the first time I really got him into it. He is always the one ... "Hope, don't get your hopes up until you are sure...". My voice of reason.

I woke up this morning, watched him sleep a little, the sun pouring in the window. I looked over at the picture of us on the table and thought...how blessed I am! I was almost ashamed that I am asking for more. I sit at my desk with family pictures surrounding me....so blessed. I have a good job, I live in such a beautiful city. I have Christian friends and such a wonderful church. I AM BLESSED!

Thank You Jesus for what You have given me, thank You for what You took away!

This really is therapeutic huh?



  1. I admire you for your faith and strength. ((((((HUGS))))))

  2. Hope you are an amazing person and I too admire your strength and your positive outlook. I know when TTC it is very easy to forget the true supply of strength and lean on your own, but thank God that all gifts are given to us through the Lord Jesus, and in Him we will find our srtength and refuge. Keep on keepin' on!