Sunday, April 16, 2006

My heart...

I have sat down here to write about Scott several times. He makes me so emotional when I try to write about him.

We met on a blind date. A surprise blind date none the least!! My dear grandmother met him and thought he would be perfect. We were having a birthday party for my half sister and there he was. At first, I couldn't look at him. I had just gotten off work and had no clue this was a 'date'!! But then, we talked. I was lost in his eyes from the moment I noticed they were blue. We rode to the county fair, walked and talked forever. Then we sat out side on the car until ... oh about 2 in the morning. Before he left, he said..."You may think I am crazy, but.... I want to spend the rest of my life with you, will you marry me?" I didn't hesitate. I knew that he was my soul mate...(cliche' I know). I was dating off and on with a guy, but I knew he wasn't the one. I KNEW Scott was. I smiled at him, I am not sure if we had even kissed, I know we hadn't. I said yes, YES. He hugged me so tight. We agreed that maybe we should wait to tell people, that they might think we were crazy or pregnant! We tried to wait, but he told his cousin (my friend from highschool and my nieces husband). When I was riding home from work one day, I was thinking....I am going to have to have him change his last name. For 2 weeks or so...I thought his last name was HALE. I would have been Hope Hale...eeeeeeeeeek!! It wasn't long after that I did get his real name, ha ha. How silly is that!

It was late August when we met, we finally started telling people in September. My parents also knew from the start that he was right for me. They fell in love with him too. My brothers on the other hand....It took a good 2 years before they really would even talk to him. We were married February 10th, 1990...the following year. Sooo yes, that means we only knew each other 6 months when we were married. That was 16 years ago, I think something worked!

We have had all sorts of challenges. Dealing with the pain of the abandonment of his 'real' father was one of the biggest. Ted left him when he was 4 and Scott barely remembers seeing him as a child up until we met. We searched and found him, and it seemed like it was going to be a good thing. But, Ted chose not to pursue it. He will never know the wonderful, loving man he 'fathered'. He will never know his own grandchild. I gave Ted the benefit of the doubt for so long, until this past Christmas. We have always called Ted, and at least say hi...let him know what is going on and that is about it. I insisted we kept that line of communication somewhat open. This year, I assume Ted has caller ID now...someone picked up the phone and Scott could hear him in the background...he said...NO NO NO and hung up. The pain in Scotts face was more than I could bear. I will never mention Ted again to him.

The biggest most heart breaking challenge has been our desire for a baby. I feel I failed him because it is me that is stopping the process. He hurts so much for me. He tells me how I complete him and if God's plan is for it to be just us...then so be it. But, I see him look at Chirsten and Caleb...and I know he longs for a hear Daddy come out of his child's mouth. He WILL be such a good daddy, and God will bless us with a child. Our Isaac

I don't know what I did to deserve his love. He wraps me up in it every morning. I don't think we go more than an hour without calling each other or emailing...just to say I LOVE YOU. We never go to bed mad, we are always holding hands or kissing. We can't sleep unless something is touching...if I am in bed alone, I can't sleep and when I do... I search all over the bed for him. He is my everything. I barely can remember my life before him and could never imagine life without him. We have the same faith values and that makes church a lot easier!

I could go on and on.... I love him so much!!


  1. Anonymous9:17 PM

    I love you honey course I told you that just now but I want everyone to see that I really am as good as you say lol.
    Seruisly I could not think of anyone but you to share my life with and I hope when we are old and gray you can look back at this and not regret anything you wrote about me

  2. Oh, that is sweet! You know that one day your kids will read this and make yucky faces! ;)