Monday, April 23, 2007

How do we say goodbye?

Today I really feel like Luc is hurting and that maybe it is time. How do we do this, but how can we let him live in pain. I gave him an aspirin and hope that he does better today. He doesn't cry out in pain but if he can't get up and can't has to be painful to do so. He has been such a great dog. This big ole dog has been inside most of his life. There were times when my parents took care of him and unless the weather was really bad he was outside. He loved it either way.

He was given to me by Dixie, Susie's sister. He has been like a child to us. When I would get that negative result on a pregnancy was like he knew I was hurting and would come and lay his head in my lap. He has always been well behaved, never chewed up a thing, would let kids ride him and romp all over him. He was just 5-6 weeks old when we got him, black and white...which rapidly turned to this most beautiful grey and white. We kept him shaved a lot and he looked so funny that way. But, it was cool and much easier to manage.

He went with us to the beach this last time and we think the spray they used in the apartment made him sick, so he came home to my parents. They took great care of him, but they don't brush him and he got all matted up and looked so pitiful. So yesterday we decided the weather was warm enough and it was time to bring him home. He was getting up slow, but he was up and knew what was going on. He was so excited and after 3 long hours and a bath, we were in the car coming home. We get her and he can't get out of the car...he tried and couldn't stand up. So Scott carried him to the front yard. Sandy came out and was really good with him. He perked up and played a little with her and then laid down. He really hasn't walked much since. Scott carried him into the house and we wrapped him up in a towel. I thought maybe he is just getting chilled from the lack of hair and all the excitement. He laid there for a long time and then moved a little...I thought getting comfy, but then Sandy freaked out and started barking. Scott went to take her out and she kept looking back at Luc and so Scott uncovered him to find he had peed a river...he must not could have gotten up. :( Scott carried him outside and he couldn't walk, so Scott got a blanket and put him on it and covered him up with it too and he stayed there all night.

This morning I didn't want to go out there, I was so afraid to find him dead. I woke off and on to hear him bark and was comforted by that. Scott came in and said he had moved somehow to the other side of the yard and that to brought me relief.

I called my mom and she said to give him an aspirin, so I have and hope that he will feel better today. If not, we will go to the vet tomorrow. He had an appetite and drank, so that is good. I guess we will see, but I know that it is close to saying goodbye. We got him in March 1992. He was 15 years this year...the vet can't believe he has lived this long. Old English Sheepdogs don't live that long normally. So we are so blessed. But, that doesn't ease the sting of losing him. I just have to cling to our memories and our 'family' pic...will have to post that.


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