Today I read so many friends getting negative news, I feel their pain and wish that things were different for us all. They are in my prayers, and the prayers of others.
This evening I was preparing an invitation for the baby shower I am giving for Brad and Marquita. Looking at some examples, reading the poems or sayings written in them, I couldn't stop my eyes from tearing up. I had to stop, I don't know if I can really do this. Every time I started, I had to stop and breathe...I couldn't stop the flood of thoughts of will I ever have my name on a baby shower invitation???? (other than given by). Will I ever be the subject of it's a girl or it's a boy? Takes my breath.
Tomorrows a new day, I will do this, Brad deserves it from me.
This is part of the invite....such a great idea!!
A card is nice, its sentiment sweet,
But a book will keep baby on her feet.
For years to come, baby will read
Longing for stories will never be a need.
A shelf full of wisdom for all to give,
For baby to keep as long as she shall live.
Filling the shelf should not be hard,
If you would please sign a book instead of a card.
About 15 years ago I started buying books and Disney movies...thinking soon, soon my baby will be using these. It got to be almost obsessive. Then Scott graduated college and we started moving a lot...and all those books and movies got to be way too much. Then I got so mad that we weren't having a child that I gave the books to a friend and some of the movies to my niece and nephew. It was not only a chore to move them, but they weighted on my mind and heart too. I go through spells still buying clothes or something cute...well, I haven't in a long time...but I have succeeded in giving most of it away. UGH
Anyways, tonight just got better, while writing this Scott came in to snuggle and in followed Henry the cat...snuggles make everything better. And him bring home bacon and raspberry crepes didn't hurt either :) (Love ya Leslie)...speaking of Leslie, I got a box in the mail yesterday...opened it and here was this great letter....great until it gets to the part "DON"T OPEN ANYTHING UNTIL YOU CALL ME". Does she not know how hard it is for a girl to have wrapped boxes in another box and not open them....grrr. The picture and baby announcement held me over.
Finally Scott got home and we called her and opened the gifts while her and Colin and Burt sung Merry Christmas haha...it was Christmas and my birthday gifts :) I LOVE Willow Tree and she got me a pair of angels...sisters by heart. AWWW, some yummy body butter and Scott got a great devotional book. One of the best parts was the donation to a charity in our names, those are one of the best gifts anyone can give. It meant a lot to us, but also to the charity.
Well, it is getting late and I think I am heading to sleep...slept like crap last night...an all night long night mare about this alligator...so detailed and it was a pet of the inlaws for part of the dream...blah it was crazy, I think because I didn't take anything to help me sleep.
To those who got negative betas and have other sad things happening in their lives...you are in my prayers, I wish there was something I could personally do.