Thursday, July 19, 2007

Ever feel...

Like you just can't take one more thing? I know that everyone has issues...but lately I swear I have more issues than Time Magazine! Infertility, family, wreck...ohh goodness I could go on and on. Sometimes I have to wonder what I have done to warrant all these things that are soooo difficult in my life. Some days I can just look up and really believe that God won't give me too much, that He knows my limits...but today, I am feeling like my cup is over flowing...and not the cup of blessings. All of these difficulties make the blessings harder and harder to recognize.

Just please say a prayer for me tonight, my heart, mind, body and spirit feels so weary. Scott thinks that this surgery will really make me feel better and if I don't have to deal with all the pain that the rest might not seem so bad. I hope he is right. I have been praying, but things seem to be spiralling and it is like He isn't hearing my prayers....I know I am being dramatic, but every day something else gets piled on.


  1. I can't believe yuo wrote this today. I am feeling the exact same way today, and I don't think that I have ever felt so hopeless. I know what you mean when you say that you feel like your cup is running over and it aint pretty! *sigh* Well friend, I'll promise to hang in there if you promise to hang in there too. (((((hugs)))))

    I hope that the surgery does help. I hope that you can find relief from the pain. There are many studies about what chronic pain will do to your moods and general outlook on life.

    I was thinking just today that I needed to look up verses on waiting on the Lord, because frankly I am just about sick and tired of waiting. I'm tired of waiting for a baby, waiting for patients, waiting for this and that. So I looked it up and this is what I found...

    Psalm 27:14
    Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.
    Psalm 27:13-14
    We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield.
    Psalm 33:19-21
    Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.
    Psalm 37:6-8
    Wait for the LORD and keep his way. He will exalt you to inherit the land; when the wicked are cut off, you will see it.
    Psalm 37:33-35
    I wait for you, O LORD; you will answer, O Lord my God.
    Psalm 38:14-16
    [ For the director of music. Of David. A psalm. ] I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry.
    Psalm 40:1-3
    See how they lie in wait for me! Fierce men conspire against me for no offense or sin of mine, O LORD.
    Psalm 59:2-4
    I wait for your salvation, O LORD, and I follow your commands.
    Psalm 119:165-167
    I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope.
    Psalm 130:4-6
    My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning.

    So I guess I'll wait. Will you wait with me, because I think it might be a while.

  2. Thank you Kari, I am praying that the surgery is what I have been waiting for. I do agree that chronic pain changes a person greatly. If it doesn't end soon I could see me being even more withdrawn and defeated.
    I read the verses, and I know that I need to wait, to be patient with my Savior, but...I am 38, I have spent 3 years with this pain, 15+ years with infertility-a chronic pain all on it's own. I wish sometimes waiting on God would be like waiting for dinner, it might not be exactly what you want, exactly what you ordered, but you know it is coming-that one way or another you have your dinner and you can be happy if it is what you want...and mourn over it if it isn't. I wish that things were more definite either way so the hope in things wouldn't hurt so much. UGH

    Give me a few days :) I am in poor pitiful me stage and until I get past this I am not that pleasant. Really prayed hard this morning, praying for forgiveness of my doubt and not trusting Him to take care of things.

    Psalm 130:4-6
    My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning.

    I love you and appreciate the strength you give me, more than anyone in my life you have been there in my shoes. I have great friends that have been in the battle for a baby. But, you and I share faith in our God that He won't let us down, He will give us our heart's desire.