Though He Slay Me I will Trust
Micca Monda Campbell
"Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him;" Job 13:15, (NIV)
Have you ever become a victim to your emotions? I have. Many times our circumstances stir our emotions and we respond inappropriately. While our emotions toward our situation are not entirely wrong; they are just not entirely reliable. But God is.
Adversity, trials, and sufferings are God's greatest tools for growing us spiritually. However, our emotions can tell us otherwise, making it hard to trust God for a good outcome. I think the reason it may be hard to rely on God in hardships is because we forget who our God is. We are focused on what our eyes can see instead of the unseen hand of God at work in our lives.
During this past year, the doctor discovered a mass in my colon from a CT scan. Usually, I'm not one to worry until there is something to worry about. Although this time I was consumed with "what if." What if it's cancer? What if I've come to the end of my days and my kids have to grow up without a mom? What if this trial is a test of faith? Like Job, will I be able to say, "Though you slay me, I will trust you?" I hoped so.
God only eliminates the things in my life that don't "look" like Him. If there is a characteristic in my life that needs to be put to death, I can trust God will do it and I'll be better off without it. While my mind may acknowledge this truth, my emotions need God's grace in order to trust Him in the process.
God's grace is always sufficient. He is enough for whatever I face. Recalling God's faithfulness in my past helps me trust Him in the present. Like David, Habakkuk and many others, I stir my faith in God by remembering those past victories. David was able to face and slay the giant because he remembered God's faithfulness in his past battles. Habakkuk, as he prayed about his situation, remembered God's history with the Israelite children and how He brought them triumph. Remembering our past victories reminds us of just how big and able our God is, and rescues us from any doubt in our present situation. It offers strength, hope, and the faith we need to endure.
In our human nature, we fear. But as children of God, we must remember how the righteous live. They live by faith. So I'm learning to say in my circumstances, "God, this is not what I want. It's not what I planned for my life, but though you slay me I'm choosing to trust you."
After further testing, the mass that appeared on my CT scan could no longer be detected. The doctors were stunned. At first, I was surprised, too. Then, I realized that God not only eliminated the mass in my colon. He eliminated another layer of doubt in my life. In the hollow of that place, a deeper faith in God took root.
Instead of trusting my feelings, I'm choosing to trust my God. He is enough both now and always for whatever comes my way. While my emotions my trip me up from time to time, still, I will trust Him. Why--because if something needs slaying in my life, I'm better off without it and God is just the one to make the change a success.
Dear Lord, I don't understand what's going on in my life right now. This is not what I planned, but I choose to trust You. Help me to see the good You are bringing out of my situation, and the good You can bring within me. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
God's Purpose for Every Woman: A P31 Devotional by Various P31 Writers and Speakers with Gen Eds. Lysa TerKeurst & Rachel Olsen
Try to identify the wrong character in you that God is trying to replace with His. Do you need patience, humility, trust, or compassion? Let God fill you with His good character.
How does experiencing hardships reveal God's love?
What is God trying to accomplish in your life through your trials?
2 Timothy 1:7, "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline." (NIV)
Proverbs 3:25-26, "Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, for the LORD will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared." (NIV)
Psalm 36:5, "Your love, O Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies." (NIV)