It is funny how when joy is seeping back into a Christian life, satan will do things, send things and people to try to steal that joy!
I Peter 5:8 Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
I woke up this morning and this verse was part of a devotional book I am reading. Satan isn't just looking for anyone to devour, he is looking for someone that is happy in God, who is sitting in the palm of our Father's hand - content and secure. While I was drowning in self-pity and the what ifs, the whys...satan pretty much had me where he wanted. He kept opening my eyes to the sad things, things to make me angry. He surely closed my eyes to all things Godly. He made me feel alone, even though I never was. He made the storm rage to try to devour me! But, he can't pluck me from God's hand! And any havoc he causes, I let him do it.
This past week has been filled with ups and downs. Happiness from Scott's new job just gets deeper and deeper. His co-workers are great, his hours are great! (Half day Friday's through the summer semester WOOOT) The money needed for gas has been cut to less than half what it was when he drove to Hippyville! The possibility of a house we want hasn't been completely squashed as we thought...so YAY! I like the new doctor I am seeing. The prospects of adoption...so much that has brought us joy lately.
Then satan sneaks in, trying to make me doubt and angry again. He causes us to think that our favorite house is out of reach when it isn't. So many doubts he has tossed my way about the adoptoin. Our stimulus check we expected this week isn't coming until the end of June (long story). Mother's day is here. A family member being used to hurt me. He slithered in to steal my joy!
Well...I ain't having it. Joy and happiness is strength. When you lose it, you become weak and feel alone. I am tired of feeling alone, I am tired of being weak.
It will take a lot more than what has happened this week to steal my joy.
Part of it was silly and petty to begin with. But satan makes them seem bigger than life.
My joy is Scott.
My joy is my family.
My joy is my friends.
My joy is my love for singing.
My joy is that contentment He has given me over the last few weeks.
My joy is getting out of this house - even if just to go to the grocery store!
My joy is the hope in my heart for a child.
My joy is knowing Christ as my personal Savior, as my Father, as my ever present help.
The point is....MY JOY IS!
No matter how hard tomorrow might be, tomorrows joy will rest in my wonderful saint of a mother, my incredible loving mother in law. It will rest in His promise to keep me safe til the storm passes by. Undoubtedly I will shed tears tomorrow - heck probably today. But, there are two people in my life that dry them quicker than tissues...God and my Scott.
Hold on to your joy, as hard as this weekend is for some of us...hold on Monday will be here quicker than we think.
A friend and family member also told me it is ok to be hurt and bothered by someone you love, but it isn't ok for me to let them squash my joy. They can't take it if I don't let them! Still, I wonder why...is their joy lacking they want every one else to be lacking as well? I probably will never know.
Then he said unto them, Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared: for this day is holy unto our LORD: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the LORD is your strength.
Happy Mother's Day....